Grass is greener the other side !

I am a nerd and I am so ugly
Where girls around are pleasantly lovely

That I've changed & look much prettier
I find them contenders of pageantry frontier

Oh, I am a hobo, my life is so dull
Where some are scholars & some are admiral

Now, I have a job & I am swinging on a cradle
When rest are promoted with huge appraisal

I left my job, in a hope to study abroad
By that time, rest planned to make their own road

I am abroad with the grandeur of excellent opportunity
I felt the pain within, living without familiarity

I am ahead of all, with a shining future
But I have no time for new relation to nurture

I lead with pride & treat all amicably
Left alone, though I long for my wonderful family

In the run of life, I aimed and attained
Still craving for better, ever remained

I am not happy, I am not satisfied
It always seems,' Grass is greener the other side !'

Silent Tears

No warning, no pain
With no notice, it fell again
Without a word, it seems so helpless
This banal life has made it wreak less

Longing since eons to trickle
That couldn't be mollified even by a tickle
No time for reminiscence, nothing to jubilate
Good things left, long back to commemorate

Submissive to defeat and prey to humiliate
No fuel to exult but to attenuate
Left to the scorn & an exegesis to glower
Running from the countenances in order to cower

Her eyes were searching for those of her peers
But no one stood there, to wipe those Silent Tears !

Our First & Last Love is....Self-Love

Recently, I saw a movie 'U, Me aur Hum'. I would not go into its storyline (I would rather recommend to watch it by yourself and comment on it.) There is a scene where Ajay ( the lead actor) mentions about Self-Defense Mechanism. As he says, while in a situation where a mother and a child are drowning, there comes a time when even mother tries to reach the water level making her son's head as her tool to rescue. An interesting reflex when we keep on boasting about our Love for the other person.

We keep on saying, "I love you", "I love him", "I love ......" etc etc. But, the moment our ego is hurt by what that makes us love it/them, we suddenly remember our Self-Esteem. We live all our life in an illusion that we love some or the other. But, actually we love only what makes us happy. We love a person because we feel happy doing so. When it seems too out of the box, we dump this whole idea of 'Love'. It is more depended on our emotional dispositions.

We are so filled with the 'Self-" word that anyone comes second to Us. When we go for a competition, we forget about all relations and concentrate on Self-Presentation. If person doesn't helps us, we say he/she is Selfish. But actually, we all are selfish. People help others because they have some or the other fear. And mostly they are God-Fearing. They are scared God's wrath than the worldly aftermath. Thus, there is no one 'Not Self-ish' .

Once, while having a tete-a-tete one of my friend. He has a loving family, friends, a very caring girlfriend, but still he says, he is in a quest to find the one thing that'll lead him to the apotheosis. When we are not satisfied with so many people around us, even though caring. Why we still ponder for the pursuit of perfect pleasure?

This world and its custom is an Illusion. We require company in order to allay our Needs. But, in our soul everyone knows that we have come alone and will bid adieu alone. So, the ultimate result is making Self-Happy. And there is only word that we have come with, " I ". Our first and Last Love is... Self-Love !

Religion or Egalitarianism ?

Disclaimer : This read is in no way written to hurt anyone's sentiments or belief. I have just put up my thoughts on this topic. And any comments will be appreciated , regardless of being Good or Bad !


I am a Hindu by religion. But, is that what I really require to tell others ? What I actually require is my Name, the identity by which I am known as an Individual. If belonging to a particular Religion is enough than why Sub-divisions ? Why is an Individual divided into sub-castes in the same Religion ?

For those folks who don't know Egalitarianism, it is 'a political doctrine that holds that all people should be treated as equals from birth.'

What is Religion ? If you look through Wikipedia, a Religion is a set of beliefs and practices. It is the "hallmark of patriarchal religious thought".
Alternatively, it also quotes the lines by Lindbeck, who says, it is "a kind of cultural and/or linguistic framework or medium that shapes the entirety of life and thought… it is similar to an idiom that makes possible the description of realities, the formulation of beliefs, and the experiencing of inner attitudes, feelings, and sentiments.”

I too believe that we are stuck amidst 'Faith' and 'Belief system'. Religion is more of having faith in one set of customs being made by some mystic experiences with some shared conviction or said by some leader (or Holy Spirit, precisely) in a particular community.

But an Individual is always the one who has right to judge what or who he wants to be. If this was not the case, then we Hindus, as our culture suggests a dress code- Dhoti-Kurta for Men and Saari for Women, should not have looked forward to accept the Western Culture and imitate their Dressing. We humans do things according to our preferences, convenience, choices etc etc. .
And then find definitions and explanation that fits their approach the best.

Recently, I came to know, that the Christians during the Easter period go for a fasting, which means they won't have any non-veg during that time. But I don't think its actually genuinely right to kill the animals to satiate our hunger. So, how can it be counted as fasting ?
And I dont raise this point only to one particular Religion or Community, but every Human who loves to eat animals. If its a vegetable that we eat, we do not kill the source that produces it ( though we do kill them for other purposes). Even if we eat Egg, we don't kill the hen which may produce more Eggs. We consume milk without slaughtering the cow. But, the rate at which we consume the non-vegetarian food, within no less time we will be left with ourselves and some other non-eatable species.

It is said that, Prophet Mohammad had to escape to Mecca to save his life from the common people, as many of his preachings were not accepted by the intellectual as well as normal lot.
He had to revile his prophecy and preachings according to the followers' demand. Or, more precisely, the form that people wanted to see or accept.

This shows that, Religion was made more on Communal aspects. It is more Localised form of people with similar beliefs and practices . It sounds more like Regionalism. Now, it is more of Violence in the name of Religion. It has been seen through ages that people of one Religion is fighting with people of other Religion to force them to join their Religion. In the course of expanding their community, they don't realise that they exterminate half the crowd to oblivion.

Egalitarianism is one way to bind this world in Peace. If we give right to actions to every Individual, they may not need to be malevolent. Religion crops more of the feeling of superiority that leads human to follow condescending cordiality. Hence, the right to the Individual must be given to make their own decisions. If Religion is a more generalised concept of faith and beliefs (where there is more probability of discord between two individual's beliefs still ), then why not make it more perfect by sticking to One's own belief than a Community's belief.

The more we are singular and objective in approach, the more we can be like A Free Bird !
Though it also may have some hazardous effects. But then, every medicine has some side effects too !

Mother- Like you, I can find no other !

The first word that I pronounced was You,
Your touch has the feel like the morning dew..
You borne the pain to carry me
You taught me how to walk bolster-free

You lulled me telling stories like you were a Raconteur
You always caught my secrets that no one could decipher.
You never fettered me and allowed me to candor
I found you to my aid when I used to flounder.
You stayed awake all night when I was ill
I may have changed, but you are the same still.

Who can it be, other than you O' Mother
Its you who gave me a sis and a brother.

That now I am so far, and you have said, "trust no other".
When I'm all alone,
Your visage is all I want, for me not to bother.
You are my sheath when I am amidst an embroil
I learnt from you to reach the acme by my own toil.

How can I pay you for the person you carved out of me
Without you, I was a one with no identity.
Your Love can't be measured or can't be weighed
I cannot just praise, to make your Love look hackneyed.

Only one thing is there, that is in my mind
I see many ladies, but none of your kind
I cant see your pain and the tears that your eyes shed
I will serve all my life and let you sleep in the cosy bed

I want to see you happy and I would not let you cry.
If this life is short, I'll give another try.
I may not be your daughter, when I am reborn
But I'll be around, keeping promise that I've sworn.

In Search of Me !

Am I a Phoenix ?
Then why do I enkindle myself to bear the pain of others.

Am I a Martyr ?
Then why do I endure suffering to the cause of social justice.

Am I a Saint ?
Then why do I love to devote my life in the goodwill of humanity.

Am I an Agnostic ?
Then why should I stop researching improvements in Technology.

Am I a Holy Spirit ?
Then why do I love to pray for others.

Am I a Recidivist ?
Then why should I be blamed for any fray when I am around.

Who am I ?
A Human !!

But is that enough to know ?
Am I just here to come-and-go ?
Do I have to be Mean ?
For no one has time to be serene.
Why do I have to do tit-for-tat ?
Why cant I sit together and chat ?
What am I sent for and what is my purpose ?
Why my act has to be so scrupulous ?
.
.
.
.

Looking for the answers, I want to flee..
Wandering around ' In Search of Me ' !

Err-Excuse-Expect = Exacerbation !

Sometimes people are affected by smallest of pecks in life while sometimes even tribulations wont make a difference. As all this time, I have been struggling to keep my hold firm on the ground, I've been shaken by many petty situations. This is when I realised my scale of emotions. Though how hard I try, I cant stop feeling miserable, if somebody does bad to me. I try not to expect, but still I do. And even the nano percent of this feeling is enough to exacerbate my mood as well as peace of mind.

Result, I blame others for my miseries. I have been getting back-stabbed all this while. And yet, I am too naive to believe the reality. It is such an inherent nature that differentiates me. One of my friend told me once, "It is this nature that has kept you sweet and innocent." To which I replied, " What is the point of being innocence when nobody values your emotions ?" See, I know it.

And yet, even knowing the outcome, I continue my pree ! Thats life...

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I usually when write my poems, I wait desperately for one person to give the comments. It is this person whose comments really counts. I was getting appreciations from all around when I got the comment from him for the grammatical error that I made in my last poem. Ohh, it disheartened me !

And hence, instead of accepting it, I started making excuses. "I am new to such kind of writing." "I know there's an error but then suggest me for the better execution." etc etc.

I feel, why cant I simply concede rather than making some or the other excuses to escape. We are so apprehensive about hearing our mistakes and forget when have to comment on others. Actually, its Human Nature. We are so full of ego that we don't enjoy being offended. Don't you feel, it is better to accept the criticism gracefully and revamp ourselves. The more we make excuses, the more we are prone to commit mistakes.

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Recently, I was roaming around like a Refugee looking for an accommodation. Finally, I came to ask from one who had been treating me like the most closest and nearest to her after her family. She let me stay, but for no reason she asked me to vacate her flat. I was stunned. Guess, I expected more than I could receive, for no one cares about your problems when they are out of there own. Its all about need.

I felt like a pawn who was used by her when she had no one to help. But, then it happens with everyone. And I don't blame anybody ( No, I do. I curse them. But cant take revenge. Cant retort. Only feel mawkish.) Just recall, how many times you went through the same feeling !

The solution is: stop being like a maudlin and be an opportunist as others are. We are a Rat in this 'Rat Race' and we need to be an astute chaser to be a Cat.

Save Environment for Posterity

I saw this hoarding somewhere on the roadside, few days back.
" Save Environment for Posterity ".
To which I could only see the garbage dumps littered around in its homage. Just another day, while I was on my way to my Office, a girl came and started speaking to me in an abstruse manner. After requesting to repeat her sentence for the fifth time that I realised that she was asking me to fill my details in a post card form, which she was carrying as a part of some sort of survey. A survey by government to find out how much is the contribution by the people towards taking any really meaningful measures to save environment.

Well I still can't make out what would that small piece of information (of my Name & email id) would help to improve any better. I wonder why the government cant introduce new rules as Environment Saving Measures and ask for heavy fines or compensation in case of violating the same. Or, they should involve the citizens to keep their surroundings clean. I have nothing to say much about this issue since it has been the topic of any oratory. Just that, we should do something materialistic to save our 'Mother Nature' than simply putting some ads on hoardings and involving in stupid surveys.

Solitude - A Tribute !!

"I want to live Alone"...
that is what he says...
Though the reality...
he can't escape...

He is in a conundrum, to which he has no clue
He is between - realm of A Myth and A Bliss.
He wants 'The Love' to be loved by himself
He has build a suit of armor to protect thyself.

Why is he succumbed to tell lies
If he wants 'Freedom', why can't he fly?
I try to explain him but he denies
That the pursuit of Freedom is one's pride.
It is a feeling nothing can replace
Would He be free, if there is no one to chase ?

I give him the light and give him the heal
But he has no heart for it to feel
With the chains of his gloat, he's fenced his heart and soul
When I soothe him, he takes it as gall.

He is trying to work on what is not in his hand
He is too afraid to fly and wants not to land
Yearning to live on his term he defines
Is it everything that he wants to find
For the life is a repercussion of what you sound
Peace can be found with whole world around.

He is confused and continues his pry
Instead of holding and giving a new try
Why he fears for the tomorrow swept by a whisk
Does he knows, one wont succeed without taking a wise risk
If its the ephemeral feeling, he only fears or cares
Then he is a lame who can't climb up the stairs.

He seems to have lose on his Self-Control
Then why not go for a dance and Rock-n-Roll
This world is on change and peaks to doom
Does the nature alters the latitude and longitude?
Give thyself a jerk and give thyself a boom
Think & retort if is that all you want : A Solitude !?

Love is here to Stay

I closed my eyes yet again
To take you out of my mind
But the closed lid also spare me not
For it shows me your picture
envisaging you in various slides

Like a magnet I was
Drawing towards you
I was struggling to repel
But opposite poles we were
That brought us closer

Now that I am mesmerised
And your charm made me hypnotised
Though I know you are far too bound
I need your presence and feel around

What shall I do to make you believe ?
That this Love is true and not to mislead
Can't you feel the intensity so high ?
Can't you see the tears that dry ?
My life has come to a standstill
People think me mad while I am so thrilled

I wish I can ask an angel
for her feathers on hire
To reach you in a blink
Crossing mountains and fire
Or, With the speed of light
I would take the flight

I want you forever holding my hand
And I cant see it last as a one night stand
I want to lie beside you for not just a day
I want to be in your arms with a future to stay
I want nothing than your vow
To bring me life which has no glow

No matter, if you feel it the same
I just believe that I can make it someday
You holding my hands and sitting beside
Together we'll make it My Love
And we could only then say
Love is here to stay !

Strangers make Better Friends !!

This is a blog I am writing after getting in an interesting situation where I went through this experience I am jotting down.

Why we always look for stability ? Be it an affair, a friendship or any other relation. But actually, at one point in time, we become so saturated that it makes us feel claustrophobic. People around us are so close, that we start fearing them ! No matter how hard we try to hide, but we cant resist telling about ourselves and later fear them.

I usually have this problem with me. When I have a fracas or minutest of argument with my friends, I'll need to tell it to someone to make myself at ease. And generally, I find people within my group itself. So, after telling, I'll fear if he/she should not go and open their mouth in front of the concerned person or related to him/her. I went through this situation as recently as two days back.

I was talking this very close and old friend. A guy I trust on all cost, but still while having our tittle-tattle (of relevance of not even a penny ) with him, I continued saying, "Don't say it to anyone." This is how it goes. Even though we show trust, we don't trust. Also, a close friend knows our in and out so well that he starts assisting us. When a help is needed, an advice is received which adds to the inferno.

Lately, I discovered that we can feel better talking and sharing to strangers. I will corroborate my given statement with certain points:

• When we feel like talking to them, they'll be there and won't if we don't want.And even if they cant,we wont feel bad because we don't expect any higher.
• They are better listeners.
  
• We don't share much of sentiments and emotions with them, so don't feel bad if we lose touch in the long course of time.
• They don't interfere in your life unless you involve them.
  
• They will help us in their best possible way on the ground of formality mixed with curtsy.
• They never take us for granted and hence we cannot lose importance in their eyes ( 'life' will be little hypothetical ! )
• And, most importantly, they will help or advice the way we expect rather than showing us a very unbiased and practical approach.
• Also, we can keep ourselves open to our own range of comfortability and convenience.

Thus, keep making friends and enjoy being mysterious. It is good to express yourselves to good listeners but it becomes dangerous if someone knows more about you than needed.

On the contrary, as in all commercial offers, we see "Conditions Apply", so does here. Hence be selective while choosing a stranger friend too. I would also suggest, make as many friends but always keep few good friends. No stranger can rescue you having scanty knowledge about you. It is this time when close friends will be there even if you don't ask for their help!

Every Person is sent with a Purpose !

I grew in a family where daughters were given least priority as far as their Academics were concerned. But to my fate, I was the first baby granddaughter in all my kins, so I became the lucky girl to be sent to the play school, then to kindergarten, primary , higher secondary and finally Graduation. Being an infant, I had no idea about the background I belonged to. And my mother used to tell me about the ordeals she faced all her life. It were these alluded experiences passed on in me that made me determined to do something different from others ( which is yet to be accomplished ! ). But this zeal has led me to do my smallest and irrelevant works assiduously.

Its not only me who thinks to make a difference with my actions. There are many who have such dreams. But there are only few who go beyond limitations to achieve their dreams. And this is where a fine line can be drawn between a Dreamer and a Achiever ! Anyone can make strategies, but it is the onerous toil that is required to attain it.

No one is a born Aficionado and hence one should have the knack of doing things they can associate themselves with. And once you realise your interest, there you are! You know the purpose you are here for, in this mundane world. Doing the same usual stuff with a difference.

Some people spend all their life for the right opportunity, and each time they miss it, seeing it passing right in front of their eyes. Mere indolent attitude can lead only to one's Nadir. Great men did not get fame sleeping unperturbed in their cosy bed. They spent day and night to perform their 'Karma', without thinking of the consequence, competing with adversaries.

Mooching around knowing your potentials is just like a person lacking benevolence with a thick bank balance. Everyone is endowed with some quality, a power to carve their own niche. Its just that, we need to understand ourselves, believe in our abilities and find our purpose of existence. It is this road that will lead us to our inner journey and an introduction to ourselves, to Eternity. It is better to live like an Ant climbing a hill than a Gopher spending half its life in hibernation !