Introspection and Retrospection: Walk with the God

Recently i was talking to an investor who likes taking risk,calculated risk. Surprisingly, he suggested me (i dont read books..:))to read a book - I think it was "Fool of Randomness". This book talks about the existence of prameters and variables which cannot be extrapolated or intrapolated. Every succesfull person is successfull not because they were brilliant in contolling all the variants (actually they never knew all the variants) but it was the conspiracy that helped them..I think GOD is close to "unknown vairants"-The Conspiracy..May be.. Yes, the intrinsic characteristics of this Conspiracy is the ability of being UNREACHABLE..

Walk with the God

In a recent telephonic conversation with a friend, we were talking about the parameters of intellects in terms of things that inspires us. We all must have gone through a self-psychometric-analysis at one point of time. As in, which one we prioritise out of mountains, oceans, fire and wind, etcetera etcetera. Or may be by taking some other sets of references, we all try to figure out why can we relate ourselves to the choices we have in our lives. Anyway, lets get back to the conversation.
Here is an excerpt from our conversation :

Friend : Maddy, what would you prefer most among Ocean, Mountains, Fire, Sky and Air ?

Me : Ocean. What would you choose ?

Friend : May be, Sky or Fire.

Me : Be more specific please !

Friend : Mmmnn, let’s say Sky.

Me : Okay, and what would be the reason ?

Friend : Well, there are many reasons but the one fundamental reason that I can think of is, it’s untouchable and unreachable. Sky is infinite and yet, it seems so near. The more I try to come near it, the more it moves far. Which persuades me to keep moving high and high.

Me : Good ! And if you’d chosen Air or Fire ?

Friend : One by one. Air first.....It is something which envelopes us, keeps our vital system green and going but still neither can we touch, see or sense it. ......... Now Fire. Fire emanates a lot of heat and light which in turn spreads warmth and hope. We cannot dare to touch it but it inspires to burn. Burn to spread light..... to give hope.

Me : Interesting ! Given an insightful explanation by you, one thing I observed is, you are ambitious. Things that looks out of reach fascinates you. You move forward in pursuit of reaching its pinnacle one day.

Friend : Yeah, can say that. It kind of encourages me to roll my sleeves up and work hard. So, why would you choose ocean ?

Me : Oh yes, my turn. I like ocean because it carries everyone’s dump. No matter where it comes from, what it consists of, ocean accepts any offerings (regardless of being harmful or harmless) into its abyss without changing its attributes on the surface. I like ocean for its depth. When in college, if I felt low, I would run to Marine Drive, sitting there for hours and all the distress would sublime in air without my knowledge. It takes away all your worries and cheer your soul distracting you by its beauty.

Friend : Sounds quite emotional. I would like ocean for its depth more because, again its hard to reach its depth.

We laughed it out later playing it just for fun. But if we look closer, it shows different approach of looking at the same thing. It is not what we choose makes us an individual but what we think about it makes us different. Sometimes we may have same interests but the approach towards the interests speaks of our identity.

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While I was re-viewing this conversation, I noticed that all the Elements: Fire, Air, Water and Sky have one thing in common: Un-reachablility. What is more amusing is that it reflects some of the quality we define in God.

[Though I am not a follower of any particular religion, neither am I a follower of particular God, but I do believe in a power whose abundant energy has given shape to this universe and many other universes.]

At home, recently while enjoying natural panorama on my apartment’s terrace one day, I could see people below me. All passer-bys, busy in their daily chores were busier to look up and see. I felt like God for that instant! Don’t take me wrong, I could see the world below me but nobody had time to look unless I would draw their attention towards me.

We human have a common affinity for ideas/things that are hard to approach. And there is nothing bad if it keeps us going. If not for the belief that there is something beyond this body and life, no one would ever step out of there cosy cushions. Even the selfish, if not for god, work hard in pursuit of becoming one. This cycle of reaching the apotheosis keeps the strings of life playing. If there was no inspiration, there was no aspiration.

There is a verse by Ghalib which suits this ideology, the perfect:

“humko malum hai jannat ki haqeeqat lekin, dil ke khush rakhne ka Ghalib ye khayal achcha hai.......”

Following one's Dream

I had read somewhere, your mental state strongly affects your whole body system. So, you should talk and believe what you say and see. And inspired by this idea I've put my 'About me' on orkut profile as 'I am the Miracle'. Weird, isn't it ? But thats how I feel about myself. It is a good way to keep one's spirits high.

I was in Delhi recently to meet a friend when I was introduced to a friend of hers. Well, we could barely spend few hours together but one thing was sure he used a lot of brain before speaking. After I left, I had a small chat one day with this stranger-became-friend. And the first message I received said,"I am the Miracle ! I often wonder over this sentence of yours."

Later I came to know that we were birds of same feathers. Thinking is our main stream profession, rest is secondary. But what I realised is he doesn't have the will to admit it. I asked, why ?

The reply was,"You know one thing Madhuri, if we follow our dreams we have to dare. And daring although has risks given our society and its question on use of free will. Sometimes we have to fight and come to an understanding called compromise. What do you choose?"

The answer can be anything based on priorities set by an individual. Some run for money, some run for fame and in pursuit of attaining, they take different roads. And then we leave for others to judge if the road taken was right or wrong. Why does other’s opinion effect so much as to stop dreaming ?

For me, dream is my aspiration. It is something I would like to accomplish and that is why I dream of it. Of course, I cannot get wings to fly if I dreamt of one, but obviously dreaming of wings means asking for an independent life. Dreams bring all the latent desires we don’t worry about in the light of the day but somewhere inside it fights for its freedom. It helps me regulate my mood, keeps my ethereal-self balanced and controlled. I believe free will doesn’t cost as much as is exaggerated. If we’d laid ourselves forget dreaming, we would have never come out of Stone Age.

Scientifically, evolutionary psychologists believe that dreams serve some adaptive function for survival. Deidre Barrett describes dreaming as thinking merely in different biochemical state. This state if active can make changes because it is when a human brings his/her dreams into action.

What I want to say is, nothing is bad unless it harms the society. Dream is nothing but imagination and what is a mind without creativity. The saying is not worthless: “Dream big in order to become big.” If fear clouds the conscience, maybe compromise settles the issue. But when you are on a death bed, you’ll look for free will and you won’t have time to start all over. Life is short and as an Alchemist we need to follow our dreams before it’s too late.

Confused Pursuit

Waking up in the morning

With hopes deep profound

Without knowing the fate

I take my first flight.

Trepidations within

Rendering the beauty of the morning.

Flighing high to be away

Away from myself in me

Prostrate on the bed

Thinking about thinking

From where I started

Figuring what I bring

No sorrow or regret, I guess

What I brought was ME

Yet am part of others' distress

Why compassion costs and pain is free ?

Now that morning light is out

Fear takes the shelter in the dark

Away from light, letting forget all doubt

With vigor, intense, to face the stark !

The Speaking Animal !

The world of Men is colorful. There is love in hatred and mockery in love. People scoff and yet pretend pleasant. Praise the unworthy and give minutest of acknowledgment to those who deserve. Honesty is rare to find and if found, rare to carry on. And amidst this dichotomy of Peace and Peril, there is something that endures the world of Men or say Humans: The Humanity, the Humbleness and of all, Compassion for those we Love. If not for their love, tenderness and kindness shown, there stands no world to bear the hollow-hearts. My Mother always says, “It is for those few good people that we are prevented from the hovering Doom’s Day.”

But let us leave these concerns aside because I am not going to talk about malice and sad endings. I’ve been indulged in numerous books talking of triumph of Good over Evil, of Prince and Princess, of Fairies and Monsters, and what not. And that imprinted an impression for forever, which is: ‘there is always a happy ending to everything that begins’. I would always fancy or rather believed that I was a part of a fairy tale too. But I never thought I would actually be a part of one someday myself.

I have been a good dreamer. As said, I always had a very defined and nicely scripted dreams making anyone believe it were real. Though I always preferred to have dream-less sleeps. I’d been a little disturbed lately. I liked to sleep more and hence dream more, and there could hardly be a difference made, if it was a dream or what happened was real. [For once I even dreamt that I’d my lunch and I escaped one.] But it was not until this day that I still can’t figure out what I saw was real or barely films of memories hidden in my sub-conscience that took the form of pictures as soon as I closed my eyes.

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I came to a store which ia a little far from my house and rather in a remote area to get my kerosene can filled. There were three young lads standing talking among themselves using as many profanities they learnt from the time they were in their mother’s womb, I guess. Their looks were menacing too along with their indecent conversation.

Yet, with all my guts I moved towards them and dared produced a sentence, “I want kerosene oil to be filled in my can.” Which sounded some unintelligible words juggled and delivered in haste.

At first, I could hear some muffled laughter which turned into a roar of laughter and then I realized what blunder I’d made with my statement. I was not dealing with normal people, after all.

“I said, can you help me fill this can with kerosene oil?” Raising the hand that contained it.

One fellow grabbed it from my hand shamelessly grinning, enjoying their small piece of joke. He took the can and went inside the shop to fill it up. While the others were still busy pulling each others shirts and passing alluded comments over me.

“Get off my shirt ! We’ve a Lady here. I don’t want to expose.” One of the two said eying me from the corner of his eyes.

The other smirked, “As if you’ve something to expose? I would never mind. Those who have it, they flaunt it.” Too proud on hitting a six.

“Oh, really! I wonder then why Sabiya didn’t give a glance at you, with or without shirt.”

Feeling offended the second guy immediately retorted saying, “You are not aware of the scene under covers. So be off!”

And again sharing a sly look they laughed. Apart from profanities, they didn’t even had respect for women. I was disgusted to the core. In fact, I pledged to myself that before leaving I would slap one of them. But again fear enthralled me for I felt very weak at the thought of smacking somebody down.

On that very moment I saw a loitering dog searching for food. It looked very feeble. When the dog came near to those two guys, they threw some bread for the dog. But before I could change my opinion for them, they started kicking the poor animal away from bread. That was the Epitome of Misbehavior. It was enough to collect strength to whack somebody, whatever may the consequence be.

I held the dog by its tail and dragged it with me. By the time, the third guy was out with the kerosene can. I took it paying the amount and suddenly moved my hand as fast at one standing near and ran away slapping him. The dog came trailing after me.

“You are brave! And thank you.” I heard a male voice saying it.

I was too nervous to turn my neck in the direction from where the voice came. So I continued running for some time while speaking out loud.

“Well, I should be thankful for your comment. What makes you say so?”

“You saved my life. And most of all you showed kindness to one who barely receives it from any person.” The voice was so clear that I could feel it was coming from very close by.

“I couldn’t have let that dog suffer in the hands of those mongrels.”

“Yes of course ! And this is why I’m grateful to you.” The voice answered.

I was too confused. I could see people walking on the street but none seemed to be interested talking to me. Then who was it ?

“Hey, whoever you are, can you please show up? Is this dog your pet?”

I was loud this time that passer-bys stared at me startled. I might be looking fool to them, talking to myself. And then I realized this voice was synchronized only to my audible frequency. A jolt of shiver passed and yet what strength led me keep my calm was alien to me.

At that moment, something drew my attention to the dog. It was making a gurgling sound from its throat and parallely I heard the voice again, this time a little irritated but composed.
“I am master to myself and a pet to myself. Though I am not human but I too have sense organs that do feel the pain. I again offer my gratitude for saving me from more pains.”

I just could not believe what I saw. I rinsed my eyes again and again. Pinched myself to be sure if my senses were alert. Till now I could not trust my own mind.
I laughed it off thinking it to be a prank of those nincompoops and increased my pace. The dog was still following me.

“I know who you are.” And with that I freezed where I was and stared back at the creature. The dog was talking to me. It continued, “I’ve seen you coming in and out of your house quite often. But I just not only know your name or your house, I also know what has troubled you all this time.”

More than horror, amazement struck me. I don’t know what made me interested to know what this voice has to say. I was still not ready to believe it was this dog.

“Wait, if its you I’m talking to, that means I can read your mind. But can you read my mind too when I’m not speaking my thought?” I was too eager to have my doubts cleared.

“No. I can’t read your mind but there is someone that tells me about your worries.” Its voice was deep and I was trapped more in a labyrinth.

“I’m sorry but I am lost. You say ‘someone’. May I ask who this someone is?”

“Sure. You usually see a tiny turquoise-colored bird seated on a branch every morning in front of your balcony. She is called Iritaa. Your fascinating gaze on her overwhelms her with pride. She is fond of you. And she watches you while you speak to yourself thinking no one is watching you. She tries to comfort you but since you can’t read her mind, her efforts go in vain.”

The dog’s one ear raised up suddenly as a sign of alert for a while and then fell. And it continued, “When returning to her friends, she speaks of your daily troubles like a speaking personal diary. It is thence I over heard her. And I can give you only one advice: ‘Do not be pained……because everything happens for a reason’.”

“Yeah, except that I am not sure if its for good or bad.” I sighed.

“Do not judge anything in such parameters for they are made by none but your own conscience. Once you might have found something bad but gradually you may have grown fond of it. And so, it was omitted from your Bad’s list. Think once.”

Expecting such wisdom from an animal whose name is used like a profanity, I was too overwhelmed to say a thing. I could only say, “Probably yes.”

“You fear of no fear. It is but your confusion that you are seeking an answer for. It is true that no problem comes without a solution provided you are aware of the problem.”

“What do you know about my problem to judge what bugs me?” I felt very offended without any reason.

“Maybe…..nothing of importance. I’ve not heard your narration and the one which is passed by a third person never holds the exact content of the original. And I won’t ask you if you don’t want to talk about it.” Its warmth was beyond a normal human intellect.
I was almost mesmerized to believe it was some supernatural being or something.

Its words had some sort of pain relief ointment which could heal the most wearied heart.

“How can you know so much? I mean, your life span is barely of few years and still you speak with the experience of centuries. Who are you?”

“I am just an animal…..a Dog as you people call me. I know much because I wander more in the world than the average human. I’ve seen many ill-doings and good deeds. Human minds are corrupted. Their pursuit of glory is satiated with destruction. I don’t deny that there are some good souls but too scanty to stop the malevolence. The large percentage consists of selfish men. And most are indulged in taking the advantage of being the superior race of all. Their lust to govern the Universe has drawn them insane. They don’t consider any living creature’s life worthy. There is a thick line drawn between those superior and inferiors in your own race, the former looks condescendingly on the latter……. But it is we animals who keeps the environmental balance. We’ve control over our unnatural instincts more than humans.”

I was too irked by the truth. I guess I am more like don’t-believe-and-it-is-myth. But coming face to face with reality was more like a whiplash. I heard it from the least expected creature which I failed to analyze myself (With my mind almost filled with so many mixed feelings). There was so much to worry, more than what small troubles I was clinging to. I reached my house and the dog was still coming beside me.

It caught me by saying, “There is so much pain that what you endure is just a matter of your choice. Mind you, its your selfishness that tells you that your pain is beyond suffering. Think about it and see if you can face it for you may not get what you want but you always get the best……..Go home…take rest…..and give some exercise to your mind….” It turned back to return but suddenly flipped its head and was too smug to say something that startled me more. “And yeah….I know His name.”

And it was gone. I came inside my house and was contemplating what I’d just now heard. I felt asleep gradually. Suddenly my morning alarm rang and I sprang from my bed wondering how I slept from afternoon to morning. When I went and asked my mother if I’d gone outside last afternoon, “No. You were busy with your books as usual. Always been too lazy to go out.” My mother has post-it complaint on her forehead regarding my laziness.

“Did papa go to get the kerosene can filled ?” I asked.

“No…..good that you reminded, its over and needs a refilling.”

I don’t know why I still wanted to check it myself. So I looked for the can and it was full to the brim! I wonder………………


------------------------------to be continued------------------------------------

More than that..

I wonder this creation,
Passing each moment in a new fashion
I am feeling lonely
And you come to me so serenely.

I think of finding one perfect option
But leaving you is not to choose one
When I'd first met you
You looked like animal out of the zoo.

I avoided your visage
Running away from your glance
And you always blocked my way
With eyes that had so much to say.

Then with a brave heart, you accosted
Framing words all circumlocuted
Scared to death yet you spoke
That was time when I broke

I spoke of hatred but love
Inferno within touching sky above
You were the one,aimed the dart
Which came to me and hit my heart

You caressed me, you made me smile
When I knew nothing but hate & vile
You showed me life with colors abound
The bountiful earth, keeping secrets profound.

World was beautiful with a new stride
Life with you was a roller coaster ride
When I looked at you, too convinced
Never realised,
That you would leave like a clandestine.

I'd nothing but you in my mind
My soul played your music on rewind
I couldn't have been what I'm today
But I am hurt so badly to celebrate this dismay

Succumb to the truth that you wont stop
Even if I beg or jump from the mountain top
Seeing the reality yet denial persists
A faint glint of hope still exists.

Time has passed and you went so far
With maiden all around & opportunities ajar
I fear, for you may find someone
The feeling so deep to sublime in the sun.

I still feel the love, I still keep the hope
I wait for you walking on the Faith's road
Though I feel weak when the night falls
Yet stop myself being reluctant to call

Engaged in my chores, act as my aegis
I drive myself to the land of oasis
There nothing but peace remains
With nothing to lose or nothing to gain

Before I move, let me tell you how I feel
That my Love was real
And not some deal
I thank you, for you were great tutelage
I will revere you without any rage

But I know my pain would palliate
My belief tells me,
I deserve More than that !

It's all about making a Difference !

Hey people, I am back after a very long time. Since Election is very near and the campaigning is going great guns for both the contenders, I thought may be I should also contribute my excerpts. I am not very political person, but while going through the newspaper I came to know that this time we've a Fourth Front as well. And these 3rd or may it be 4th front, their only agenda or say concern is that neither BJP nor Congress should win the Elections.

I really don't understand if this is the Agenda in the recent days, where is the concern for the Development/Progress of the country. At least, during previous Election campaigning, our politicians used to give some false promises. Now they don't even do that because they know, neither junta believes nor are they going to fulfill them. Now, my question is, amidst all this campaigning, where even superstars have contributed some time to instigate young generation to vote sincerely, why no one ever has any interest to know who are the political leaders and what are their qualifications ? Will these old and so called experienced candidates would serve the country honestly ? If the stars say Vote for our nation, probably we would vote ( same as we buy some branded clothes endorsed by them ). But are we really going to think and analyze before making our decisions. Every small bit of work involves corruption and we are taught to fight against them. However, no one stands against it.

While recently, I was speaking to one of my senior colleagues, he told me about a Section in our Constitution which says if a citizen doesn't wants to vote can report to the local Police Thana, and he can choose any Candidate he thinks is not suitable for the post. Also, if there are 100 people reporting against the same candidate, his candidature would be canceled forever. Now, we do not know that section because it is never highlighted. Even when I asked which is that section, my colleague never had time to look for it. Anyway, what little I know, I wanted all of us to know who thinks we need to Act in order to make a change.

There are many who can speak for hours about making a revolution, there would be barely some to fight against the odds and act for it. Its not about choosing what we want, but when we put a small effort, we make a Difference !!! Its our Country, and we all have full right to choose the one leader who can lead India to prosperity....